How much would you like to wager Child Protective Services jumps in on this one?

Mother sparks child welfare debate after posting picture of her 'gay' five-year-old in drag on the internet

A furious debate is raging over the ethics of parents posting pictures of their own children on the internet after an angry mother used an image of her five-year-old son in drag on her blog.

The mother, who calls herself Cop's Wife on her forum Nerdy Apple Bottom, was criticised by other mothers at her son's school for letting him dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween.

She fought back by writing a 'rant' - under the headline 'My son is gay' - defending his right to wear whatever he wanted and be free from judgement.

Blog: The rant was posted on Cop's Wife's site, Nerdy Apple Bottom

But while thousands have backed her message of tolerance and motherly support, others have suggested she is putting her son at risk by posting the picture of him in drag on the internet.

The 35-year-old mother-of-three described how her son, a huge Scooby Doo fan, had asked for the costume specifically but later expressed his nervousness at how people would react.

She reassured him but when they arrived at school the pair were subjected to 'wide-eyed' stares from other mothers who 'made faces as if they smelled decomp'.

The part time yoga instructor from the American Midwest explained what angered her in the blog posting.

'Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be,' she wrote.

'They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.

Blogger: The mother identifies herself only as Cop's Wife on her blog site, Nerdy Apple Bottom You go, girl!

'And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts.

'And they were that I should never have "allowed" this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it.

'She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.'

In defence of her own actions and her son's rights to wear what he wanted, she wrote: 'IT IS NOT OK TO BULLY. Even if you wrap it up in a bow and call it "concern". Those women were trying to bully me. And my son.

'If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it'

'If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot.

'Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

'If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.

'If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it.

'If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way.'

Since posting the rant on Tuesday her intended message of tolerance has gone viral around the internet and flooded her small blog site with messages of support.

The blog post has seen almost 20,000 logging on to express an opinion, when Cop's Wife's previous posts have attracted just 11 or 12 comments.

Christine commented: 'There is nothing to say to you but congratulations! Wish I was standing next to you at the time so I could have put my own two-bob worth in.'

Her sentiments were echoed by Lesbianmum, who wrote: 'Thank you for this! I wish the world were filled with more moms like you!'

However, many other took a different position, suggesting that Cop's Wife is exposing her son to ridicule by posting the story and her son's picture online.

One of those posters, Jason, wrote: 'Gay or not, that pic is going to come back to haunt that kid someday. Good job posting it online where it will exist forever.

'Do you (sic) kid a favor and stop putting him online.'

'Gay or not that pic is going to come back and haunt that kid someday'

for them is to be happy you are doing a bad job.'

Child welfare group Kidscape, whilst supporting the child's right to wear whatever he likes and grow up along any line of orientation he so chooses, said it set a 'troubling and disturbing' precedent.

'I think the parent needs to wake up and remove the image straight away,' said Claude Knights, director of Kidscape.

'The child is so young it's very difficult for this to in any way be seen as the child's opinion. He is a developing human being and it is disturbing that anyone should label him in either direction.

'A child dressing in a costume like that doesn't worry me at all, children have to be free to explore, but what does worry me is that there seems to be an adult agenda here. And that's troubling and disturbing.

'It comes down to the issue of parental responsibility because it (the image) is really open to gross misappropriation.

'This could have been kept as a low-key local issue but, in using the internet, it becomes almost a worldwide campaign and raises issues which go beyond her intentions.

'The repercussions of having that photo under that headline are really concerning for the child because the internet is virtually indelible.

'We have calls from concerned parents who have had things written about their child on the internet and even with a benevolent internet host it can take a long time to remove.'

BEVERLY TRAN ®

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Friday, November 5, 2010